Terry asked what a dry drunk was and before I had a chance to post on the subject, he sent me a nice link. I already had that site bookmarked, which proves that great minds think alike, or some such thing. Here is what this Christian Recovery Site has to say about being a dry drunk:
Definition: A colloquial term generally used to describe someone who has stopped drinking, but who still demonstrates the same alcoholic behaviors and attitudes.
Also Known As: Dry, Not Sober
Examples: His behavior hasn't changed at all, he acts like a dry drunk.What is the dry drunk syndrome? "Dry drunk" traits consist of:
- Exaggerated self-importance and pomposity
- Grandiose behavior
- A rigid, judgmental outlook
- Impatience
- Childish behavior
- Irresponsible behavior
- Irrational rationalization
- Projection
- Overreaction
I also know, as Simple Sinner (of the beautiful dogs) has pointed out, that it is very popular to refer to our President as a dry drunk. (Ooooops - that was Terry who mentioned that.) I can't say this any stronger than this; It is not our place to decide who may or may not be an alcoholic, a "dry drunk", or even a bad Catholic. We can have very strong suspicions, but we best keep those to ourselves. Besides, it takes one to know one and a so-called "normie" is not the best judge of who is or isn't anything when it comes to addictions.
As an alcoholic, I see my own behavior when I look at that list - both when I was drinking and after I quit. You see, I stopped drinking so I could get "sober" by working on those defects of character listed above.
Take a moment and mentally run through a good examination of conscience. You will find the same things, most, if not all, rooted in the sin of pride. Do I have a "special" set of defects because I am a drunk? Absolutely not. But I had to stop drinking to address my sinful behavior. While drunk, you tend to think you're rather special. That's part of the problem.
The person who gets labeled a dry drunk is one who is not making any attempt to "work the Steps" of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a lapsed Catholic, or even a Protestant, who does not return to his church and allow the Word of God to transform him. A.A. was founded on spiritual principles, and the Twelve Steps are a great help in leading us back to our religious roots. The founders of A.A. knew this and stressed the importance of God in our lives.
Here are some destructive patterns and actions that can result from dry drunk thinking:
1. We become restless and irritable and discontent.
2. We become bored, dissatisfied, and easily distracted from productive tasks.
3. Our emotions and feelings get listless and dull, nothing excites us anymore.
4. We start to engage in the euphoric recall that is yearning for the good old days of active using and for getting the pain and shame of use.
5. We start to engage in magical thinking and we get unrealistic and fanciful expectations and dreams.
6. The last thing we want is to be engaged in introspection to improve ourselves.
7. We start to become unfulfilled and have the feeling that nothing will ever satisfy our yearning or fill the hole in the soul.
Looking back at the list of attitudes and thought distortions listed above, it is easy to see how the dry drunk syndrome is simply nothing more then reverting back to the way it was when we were active in our use. If you are starting to notice some of the attitudes discussed here creeping back into your life, it is time to start paying attention to the possibility of relapse, and start turning your life in sobriety and recovery around. The dry drunk syndrome is a bright red flashing warning sign for relapse. Excerpt from Addiction Recovery Basics
Those destructive patterns are likely to emerge in anyone who has neglected their spiritual life. We'll talk more about that as we move on to Steps 12 and 13
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17 comments:
I'm sure you know that nonalcoholics exhibit "dry drunk" behaviors, too - but the difference is in degree and constancy. My alcoholic ex-husband demonstrated nearly all of these behaviors nearly all the time when we were dating and he wasn't actively drinking - and I completely misunderstood what I was looking at in him.
They say, "live and learn," but this learning has cost me a helluva lot.
WHERE WERE YOU TEN YEARS AGO??? LOL (not blogging, I bet, right?)
Smallest of points - my blog link is
http://theblackcordelias.wordpress.com/
And mostly what I pointed out was someone like Joy "Joyless-Wet-Hen" Behar taking an opportunity to express her ideological disastisfaction with the President by casting aspersions on him via terms like this.
More succinctly, there is a politician in the spotlight right now that I can't stand for his positions on life issues. When I criticize him, I just use his positions on an issue, I don't see the need to cast aspersions or denigrate him with my highly emotive and utterly non-clinical invectives.
My personal vision of the purgartory I am deserving of for all of my sinfulness? Being forced to watch re-runs of The View non-stop until the end of time.
Pray for me.
The Black Cordelias that is!
laura - the only difference between me and a "normie" is that I'm crazy but I know it. They actually think they're normal. HA. HA. HA.
Simple Sinner - all fixed (except you are on Per Christum, too - right?? ...........or am I drunk and don't know it. LOL
Joy Behar - now there's a real mental giant....ok, I guess that wasn't nice. But where does that woman come off calling George W a dry drunk?? How silly!
I am still at PC, as a contributor emeritus... So you are not drunk!
But The Black Cordelias is my mainstay.
excellent post...
Adrienne, you know from my many other posts all over the Catholic portion of the net that I despise politics ("Quid est imperatori cum ecclesia?"). So normally I would pass over the issue here, except that it has generated more discussion than I am comfortable leaving alone.
My comment is neither political nor religious. It is simply clinical, and I have the credentials to back it up (accepted as an expert in both state and federal courts).
The person referred to has a publicly known history of many years of alcoholism. Even his supporters concede that he shows all of the criteria you listed for a "dry drunk". Now, I have not examined this person, so I have only hearsay evidence to go on. But if that hearsay were backed up by admissable evidence, and if I were called into court to testify, I would have no choice but to opine that he is a "dry drunk" (though I would use more technical terms).
Sorry for this digression into the Emporer's business. For the future I will try to keep my comments confined to the Church's business.
Thanks Adrienne - this helps a lot. Yes, and Joy Behar... okay, all I will say is, "She has issues!"
Very interesting post..thankyou..
Thanks for the definition in terms. Whenever I've seen the phrase "dry drunk" I actually thought it applied to people I've met that I don't recall actually fit the criteria.
The people in question were recovering alcoholics, but they were unbearable about it. They were so on the wagon that any reference to any desire by anyone for a drink containing alcohol must mean that the person making the comment MUST be an alcoholic. The "dry drunk" (in my understanding) was basically an obsessive-compulsive switching from on addiction to another...the first being alcoholism, the other extreme...anti-alcohol to a fault. There was no source other than the 12 steps, it ate up all his time and conversation, there was nothing else in this world, and basically, the attitude that EVERYONE is an alcoholic.
My Dad was an alcoholic and the one time I remember having to go to Al-anon or whatever we had to go to, it was so cultic and so like THAT that it's turned me off forever to that particular group. I've also seen it since then so these aren't just observations from childhood.
So...maybe it's a different phenomena? Or part of the same thing? Someone gets sober and suddenly switches gears and it becomes a pyramid organization?
When I worked in probation (as a volunteer) I worked with a lot of DUI convicts. They were required to go to AA or some other, and AA was the top recommendation. Some of them came to me to say they didn't like the AA program and asked if, instead they could go to the group through their church or some alternative, and they cited the "cult-like" atmosphere. I realize not all groups are "cult-like" but the attitude seems so widespread. We did let the probationers seek other programs, certainly (and I suspect that some of them WERE AA but just being held through their church maybe by a different name...) lol
OK, sorry, rambled there...
Adoro - thanks for bringing those issues up because they are very valid concerns. Paul, over at Sober Catholic, talks quite a bit about some of those problems and I am planning on addressing them in the next few days (along with Steps 11 and 12).
Those anti-alcohol alcoholics in the program (who also tend to see drunks around every corner) just drive me bats. They're very much like the "holier than thou" Catholics we see floating around the blogoshere.
Jeepers - just 'cause I can't drink doesn't mean someone else can't.
Alcoholism is a lot more complex than I could have ever imagined. Like you wrote, it would truly be unwise for anyone to draw conclusions about someone who suffers from this terrible decease.
O.K., I goofed. It should say "disease", NOT "decease." It would help if I read what I wrote before I click on the “publish” button.
Too many quotes in this explanation.
dearest adrienne, i know you are trying so hard.
I was thinking of phoning Al Anon this morning. However as Adoro has posted I do feel I need to keep the whole group thing at arms length. A friend is in Al Anon and frankly the way she goes on about it has put me off HUGELY. It does come across as cultish-and at times 'dry-drunkish' too. The friend in AlAnon was so horrified when I told her I was giving up alchohol for Lent because she assumed that with the disease in my family that I wouldn't drink. It's barmy. I don't expect everyone in my family to use a wheelchair just because I do and my family and friends in AA have never said everyone else should not drink because they don't.
Right now this minute I am SICK TO DEATH of how alchoholics are impacting my life. Things are very, very difficult right now.
I think AA can be excellent and the 12 steps are quite literally a God send if the person only works them.
God bless Adrienne. I love you blog.
I'm very glad to have found your blog. That was a very useful post!
Re-reading these symptoms, I have to ask - why isn't alcoholism considered meental illness? I forget to check back sometimes - so if you think this is legit - please email or do a post. Thanks.
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