More Step Four
In order to take a good hard look at our defects of character, we first must know what to look for. The Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth will make a wonderful “working list” for us. Every Deadly Sin has a corresponding Virtue but in order to build that virtue, we must first dig around and identify the sin.
The process of taking your moral inventory is not the time for wailing and moaning. It is a period of stepping back and looking at ourselves calmly and realistically. During an Ignatian Retreat, this same examination takes place and the retreatent is warned to be objective. The time for sorrow will come, but only after the work has been done.
We need to start with Pride because it is the root of most other sins. It is our pride that leads to self-pity, resentments, and anger. In today’s society, we have become the center of our existence. We expect circumstances and people to bend to our will. When that doesn’t happen we become angry and resentful. Every alcoholic who is diligently working the program recognizes anger and resentment as being dangerous and deadly emotions. Scratch the surface and you will find that ugly animal pride urging us on.
I spend lots of time getting angry. If I step back and take a look, it is usually because someone has attacked my fragile ego. “How dare those people ignore or disagree with me.” And if you’re headed to the combox with itchy fingers to talk about “righteous” anger, don’t bother. Engaging in righteous anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
When I am really angry, I will often dump it all on my pastor, usually closing my tirade with the words, “do I have a right to be angry?” His answer is always the same. “Sure, but it’s what you do with the anger that is important.”
"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." (Lamentations 3:40)
9 comments:
I'm so glad I never get mad or harbor resentment. LOL!!!!!!!!
Challenging stuff! Yeah like Terry I never get mad or resentful!..
mmm 'made a searching & fearless' inventory! I musta missed that bit! lol
It's a tough one Adrienne, but I think I can swing it by next week.
No charge.
I win - you get a gift - no arguments!
Adrienne: Great post. Just in time for me too.
"Engaging in righteous anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." So true.
The challenging part is to remember this (C.S. Lewis referred to it as "staying awake") next time one's anger begins to surge.
"Don't let the sun go down on your anger."
I read that in a good book somewhere.
From my own (often bitter) experience, I can tell you that anger is more destructive to the one holding the emotion than it is to the object of the anger. This past Lent, I made it a priority to allow the Lord to work on that specific sin, and as you say, it isn't easy -- He hasn't finished with me yet! I dare say it'll continue for the rest of my life (I'm 61). Anyway, I definitely agree with Cathy of Alex -- this comes just in time! Thank you, Adrienne.
Funny, too, how anger begins by being our companion and then after a while seeks to become our friend. Very destructive!
Post a Comment